I just missed that train. Like just missed it. As I topped the escalator I looked up to see the sign that read BRD (somehow that’s an abbreviation for boarding). My thought bubble contained a curse word. I double jumped up the last steps to watch the doors closing and the train slipping away. Au revoir.

I always check the departure sign when I enter a station. This one read that the next train would board in nine minutes. Experience taught me that it might actually be pulling in as I was reading. The train people wish to avoid additional passenger ire. They figure you can’t make it to the platform on time. No reason to add to folks’ Metro Rage by making them hustle ineffectively.

I ran up the escalator because sometimes I can catch it. Not today, though.

Maybe I should have hustled faster? Or, maybe I should stop looking at the sign and just accept what happens.

Last August, my fellow American History nerd sent me a link to this show that was blowing up on Broadway.

I’m all like, “When do we go?” And he’s all like, “Name it. Let’s go.”

I went online to see that it was, indeed, a hot show. There were a few single seats available around Christmas. Nothing earlier. Looking out, there were plenty of tickets for January and February, even March. I looked at the seating chart. I double checked to see when the star wasn’t performing (Sunday’s off starting January). I put four tickets in my cart. Then I started to think.

When is The Spouse traveling in January? We could save money with a Thursday show, but that’s more time off of work. Will my New Yorkers be home to put us up? Do I check the days with my fellow nerd? Do just the two of us go and our partners be damned? The Big Guy should see this show. Are these good seats?

Too many questions. I’ll get back to it.

And I didn’t. And my diddling over minutia that may or may not impact something five months down the line meant that I didn’t pull the trigger and buy those tickets to Hamilton that were in my shopping cart. Yes. In. My. Cart. They were all but in my possession for retail price. Yeah. That. FML.

I was petrified–stuck in stone–by a lack of perfect information. Like there is ever absolute certainty. I had enough information to make a good decision, but I lost to stupid nits of irrationality. Talked out of what I wanted by some worry wart perched over my shoulder. I hate that worry wart.

Where was my inner risk taker balancing that ninny? The risk was actually minuscule, easy to manage. Instead these teensy annoying questions took on a parade-balloon demeanor, blocking out anything else behind it. And those tickets slipped out of my hands back to the virtual pile. Glided out of site like that train.

Another train came in eight minutes, but those tickets? Gone. Gone. Gone.

Next time, I’m not going to lose my shot.

I bought the presale tickets for The River tour. I’ll figure out who goes later. I have time. It’s not that hard.

Next trigger to pull is on that remodel. I’m feeling pretty spunky. I’m not willing to wait for it.