Bouncing After the Convention

My favorite part of the convention:

Where did they FIND this guy? Give that person a raise, and put Barney Smith first! What a regular guy. Did a more natural job than many of the professional pols.

I wrote this poem for one of my McCain supporting friends, whose kids have been known to chant Obama around the house.

Your Continued Wrongness

YOU said that Dems (Hillary supporters esp.) should be pissed
cuz your folks keep ginning up that Hill was dissed.
Guess you didn’t see your guy McCain was hissed,
and that your other guy, W, won’t be missed.

Another dull speech by our guy Kerry,
didn’t stop the convention hall from making merry.
And the hatchet by both Hill and Bill was burried,
all the precurssor to the 40 states that Barack will carry!

Yo yo yo, and wait till tonite when in his speech,
Barack Obama will rise up to meet,
another man who wouldn’t take his assigned seat
45 years ago even tho the mountaintop he did not reach.

And when the conventions are all done,
and this election is fully run,
Barack Obama will have won.
Mark my words, your daughters will rejoice, Son.

Yeah, not too good, but it’s been what I’ve been thinking about. And it rhymes.

Making Fun of Yourself–If You Can

I really liked Kanye poking fun of himself–liked it really alot–on Saturday Night Live on Saturday.

I like Kanye anyway. When people talk about his oversized ego, I don’t think that they have sat through any of his CD’s. The man has alot of big feelings, is passionate about his art, and, he can really make a beat. In all of his big-head phoniness, he comes off to me as a real person.

Contrast that with another Chi-town transplant, Ms. Hil. Jon Stewart had a time with her, and her very squirrely laughing.

I know, as Kanye says, it’s the media that makes it bad–cutting and splicing. Heck she might not have really even been there.

But when Hil is being touted as perhaps the next Al Gore–I get the shivers.

“Like the former vice president, she often came across as a pontificator and an automaton — in contrast to the personable and humorous person she is known to be off-camera. And she seemed especially evasive when dealing with questions requiring human reflection instead of wonkery.” (Frank Rich, NYT)

Here is some important data points for all potential presidents:

  1. Remember that the wonky Al Gore LOST. Becoming real after the election is simply too late.
  2. Be more like Kanye. He makes mistakes, but for all his Louis Vuitton-isms, he seems more real than the whole lot put together. (Get that Barack?)

White Guy Can’t Rap

To the category of over-developed sense of importance I would like to add the white guy who wrote about how if he didn’t buy those hip-hop joints with bad messages, then hip hop would clean up. You know, less guns, less drugs, less ‘hos and the n-word all because he–and other influential white folk–are going to stop buying it.

Hey, Dude, you didn’t invent the Internet, either!

While you can listen to hip hop, that doesn’t mean you make it. And while your $16 for a CD adds to the bottom line, hip hop don’t need you. You need hip hop–for whatever has been drawing you to it for the past 20 years.

Stop whining about the fact that your 3 year-old can’t listen to your IPod. Duh. It makes sense that you listen to music–see movies, read books, and partake in other adult activities–that you wouldn’t share with your children. You are the grown up.

Did you hear Nickelback’s Rockstar? It follow the classic, formula rock song about the dreamlife of drugs, big cars and houses, and easy women. But you don’t classify that as a problem–why is the problem rap not rock?

Is it okay because white people are not susceptible to “bad” music messages aimed at them? Are whites only immune to the plight of poor, urban African Americans? Don’t we also ignore poor whites, Latinos, Asians and, of course, Native Americans?

Here you go, that’s the way you do it!

Practically, did you know that most artists don’t make money on record sales? The record companies do. The artists make money on tour and from merchandise. So you can put away your white man’s wallet and skip the CD and not make a penny’s worth of difference to 50 Cent’s bottom line.

BTW 50 has decided that the market is too hot for “hard-core” joints, with the Don Imus thing and all. So he released the “softer” Curtis CD. You know more family-friendly songs like “My Gun,” and respectful lyrics like “We got to share the same b*tch, okay I go first.”

White Guy, it’s okay for you to buy–or not buy–whatever you like. It’s okay for you to be offended by music you like. I, too, have cringed at lyrics that escape my lips. But you can probably do more to make a difference in your community by doing a good job doing your job–don’t sweat the music, and good luck.

Who’s Image Anyway

David Stern, that iconic sport executive “genius” of the NBA, continues to rework the reputation of pro-basketball.

NBA playas were all chained out–baggy pants hanging significantly south of waist and over sized tees accented by platinum chains. All bling, a la the most gansta of urban chic. It was good for the NBA–the younger, hipper pro sport. Ticket sales and TV ratings up, up, up!

We had athletes choking coaches, throwing naked wives into the snow, and punching fans in a stand-clearing brawl. People started getting uncomfortable with this marriage of elite hoop stars and the hood stars. Got the cool, but would this turn off the wealthy, white fans? Ratings and sales potentially down, down, down!

Solution? Make the ballers wear suits, and have Wayne Newton bring his geriatric Elvis, Mr. Vegas revival to the NBA All Star intro-show.

15 year-old: Who is that guy?
12 year-old: Is his face real? He looks like wax.
Me: Michael looks less real.
15 year-old: Was that guy famous? For what?
Me: (no answer)

Where was Beyonce and her girls remaking The Star Spangled Banner? John Legend jumping on his piano?

Not a way to attract fans for the future. And–much as I love Xtina–the music and show was old.

I came for the music, not the game. Boo!