The 16-year-old and I were at the grocery store.

Him: (looking in the cart) What’s up with the toilet paper?

Me: Well, we are close to running out and it seems to me it would be a good idea to have some. Just in case. Running out would not be so good.

Him: But you usually get the other kind.

Me: Yeah, but this was on sale, and I don’t want to run out. The kind I usually get isn’t on sale. I can’t wait for the sale.

Him: But you get the red kind. This is purple.

Me: It’s perfectly good toilet paper. It’s not like it’s an off brand.

Him: Using this new kind might cause some reaction.

Me: I seem to be getting some reaction now.

Him: My a** is already itchin’.

Me: Shut up.