Because it was rated “arrrrrr”.

Who would make a movie out of a frickin’ ride? It was simply too stupid a premise for me.

I remember watching the Wonderful World of Disney when I was little. Sometimes Disney would dedicate an entire show to one of their entertainment rides. The Hall of Presidents, It’s a Small World, the Tiki Room, and, of course, Pirates of the Caribbean.

When I went to Disney World in the mid-80’s we suffered through a ride that was way past its prime. So why, oh why, would someone think that you could make a movie out of a plotless, plodding, pointless pretense of play?

So, I was wrong. Loved the movie the first. Loved the movie the second and sat through the movie the third trailer in Russian.* I don’t know what they are saying, but it looks like a blast!

* Available to all in English on Monday night.