Oh Canada!

I’m hearing people on both sides of the political spectrum threatening to leave the U.S., if their nemesis candidate wins. Thought I’d give you some facts to prepare you for your move.

1. Canadians have The Queen on their money. Americans like The Queen. And her corgis. And whatnot.
2. Their Super Cute Prime Minister welcomes refugees from all over the world. He might even help you on with your jacket. It’s probably a good idea, though if you bring your own.
   
3. You can call them on their cell phone, but don’t ask them to teach you to dance. This is NOT a good look. Not even in Canada.
   
4.  The U.S./Canadian border is the longest border in the world. And the Canadians don’t even protect it. It’d probably be very easy for you to cross. The Mounties are more for show. They do look good, though, don’t they?
   
5. Even the sexiest man alive displays the modesty of his homeland. Those Canadians are just so darned nice, dagnabit.
   
6. Canada has no weapons of mass destruction. Well, that is if you don’t count Deadpool.
   
7. Canadians are very cultured. Even hockey players can break into a broadway tune!

Hope this helps you through your angst. As an alternative, you can just figure out how to make your own country into the one you want. Like VOTE!

Vote in local and state elections. Vote for school board. Vote for city council. Vote for your state representatives, state senators, elected judges and attorneys general, and governor.

Vote for your federal officials. It counts.

A special note for Millennials. You now outnumber the old Baby Boomers. They are in charge, though, because they vote and you don’t. So VOTE!

You don’t want to have to learn the words to a new national anthem–in FRENCH! Think about it. And poutine is weird.